Are wedding shows worth it? Well, I met Sammy at Love in Yeg (you might remember me blogging about it last year). Sammy & Keyfer won an engagement session with me (from the event gift basket), which turned into a wedding booking and a client relationship I’m so very grateful for! I had a blast with Sammy, Keyfer and their wedding party, and I loved working alongside Brooklyn Marie, Reel Mensch Studios, and the rest of the wonderful team they brought together. There is so much to love about these two, not least of all their bond to one another.
My First Cactus, And How It Brought Me Home
I haven't always had a great relationship with house plants.
As an adult, I came to see them as a MAJOR nuisance. Don't get me wrong - I've always loved growing things. I have an elaborate garden every summer, where I toil happily until the fall. The winter provides a welcome respite from digging in the dirt, that gets me all jazzed up for a new planting season. So I never understood why I couldn't keep anything alive in the house.
My journey with houseplants started as a kid. We had a very tall cactus that had been with my parents since it was just a small windowsill plant. I grew up with this cactus towering over me, it was taller than me for most of the years we had it, and eventually it moved to Alberta with us. I loved to dig my little nails into the flesh between his spikes. It felt just dangerous enough to be exciting! Would mom walk around the corner and get mad? Would the plant feel bad? Would my finger slip and get poked by a prickly spike? I was probably seven years old. The most satisfying part was pulling my hand away and watching the bitter, white cactus blood ooze out through that perfect crescent-moon-shaped wound my nail had left behind. I know it was bitter because I ate it more than once - it always looked good, but it never tasted any better. The cactus didn't adapt well after the move. I think it saw it's final days in Grimshaw Alberta, after a tumultuous cross-canada UHaul adventure when I was about nine. Everyone's favourite kind of road trip - amiright?! (Read: sarcasm)
Our family cactus was a living symbol of the life I left behind in Ontario. As I watched it slowly lose the fight against a new climate, I decided we were never going home. When it finally got hauled out to the trash, I ached.
Nine years later I left small-town Alberta for what I saw as a temporary stop on my way back to Ontario. Edmonton. It was 2005 when I realized I'd now lived in Alberta as long as I'd lived in Ontario. A devastating epiphany. If I stayed one more year... this would be the place I'd lived for most of my life. I had to finish school and get out of here.
During college, I probably bought a bamboo plant every time I went to Ikea. They always died, and I'm just now realizing why - I kept putting them in the bathroom where there's LITERALLY NO SUN. Ikea also brought a large tropical plant into my life, that lived the longest of any plant I've ever had since. I think it stayed with me from 2005 until 2008. It even put up with me decorating it at Christmas each year. But by 2009 I was done being disappointed by house plants. At least outdoor plants have a pre-determined growing season. They grow, they are harvested, they have served their purpose and they're gone. Not house plants.
House plants greet you each day with enthusiasm. A predictable joy, living in an otherwise inanimate room. Until one day they've fallen over.
This brings me to my life with Neil. When I met Neil in 2012 I still hated Alberta. I was almost ready to ditch Edmonton altogether, but I hadn't decided where to go next. I felt trapped in Edmonton by my career because I was scared of starting over, but I wanted out. To be honest, it seemed like all my friends felt the same way - and that was the real problem.
Falling in love with Neil was terrifying because I knew he would be one more thing that was going to tie me to this city. Neil loves Edmonton, and coincidentally he also loves houseplants. When he first told me he wanted a lot of plants in our house my face twisted into the subject of Edvard Munch's 'The Scream'. All I could see in my head were the dried up leaves and water stains left all over my dad's neglected living room when we moved him out of his last house. Dead houseplants had been involved in many of my life's major disappointments, and although I may have been over-reacting, the answer was a hard NO. Not in our house, not in our life. There will be no droopy, sloppy, plants screaming neglect from the corners of this living room, reminding me that everything is temporary, and everything I love will someday die.
But then things started to turn around...
Neil became this secret door to a whole new Edmonton I hadn't seen before... in fact, it was a whole new Alberta. I met people who were creating things and proudly boasting Edmonton as the home and inspiration to their creativity. Edmonton had a spark that had previously eluded me. Instead of seeing this as a place I needed to escape to be successful, I started to see it as a place I could draw inspiration from, and incorporate into my work and art. I realized that being happy in a place has a lot to do with the people you know. I had like-minded, amazing friends, but they all wanted to leave Edmonton. They kept moving away to be closer to industry hubs that had more opportunity for them, and it made me feel constantly left behind. It was comforting to have a friend who I knew wasn't going to move away. Neil was here for the long haul. At the very root of it, he had put a lot of time and passion into building a bike polo league here, and he wasn't going to leave that anytime soon. We moved close to Mill Creek, I fell in love with hiking in the river valley. We invested in a studio, I met more awesome people and started collaborating. We discovered the wonders of day trips to Elk Island. We joined Ritchie Community League and got involved with their events. I started photographing things that I adore about the prairies. We finally decided to stay - and bought a house in Ottewell.
I call myself an Albertan now, and when I'm traveling I cut the sarcasm from my tone when I tell people where I'm from. I didn't think this was my path, but here I am - I actually love this place!
Let's get back to my journey with houseplants. Just like Neil unintentionally encouraged me to embrace our city, he also opened my mind to plants. Succulents started showing up everywhere - at the grocery store, the greenhouse, Ikea, the farmer's market. FINALLY! A plant without leaves to dry up and fall off. I was in love. We could finally compromise. Neil could have plants, and I could be happy. I bought cactus after cactus, succulent after succulent. Unfortunately, they all died in our basement suite due to a lack of light. So that brings me to the present! Now that we are in a house, with big main-floor windows in every room I've gone a little crazy for these house plants. With dry soil, sporadic watering, and no attraction for my cats to eat them, they are the perfect living decor! I have eight thriving collections of succulents and cacti, and I'm actually feeling a little bit addicted. My new challenge is to SLOOOW DOOOOWN because we only have so much counter space.
Our friends Sarah and Sklar (above) have a whole room in their home dedicated to plants and terrariums. They came over one night this month to build some Terrariums with us for the new place. Here, some lessons from Skylar:
1. Plant 'Like With Like'
Choose plants with similar leaves to go into terrariums together. Something with a fatter leaf holds more water, so it doesn't need as much attention. Something with a small, thin leaf is going to need to be watered more. Your terrarium will live longer and look better if you match up plants with similar needs.
2. Choose Your Soil
The internet suggests using activated carbon in your soil to fight off fungus. I don't know if that's what Skylar brought over, but we definitely had a specific mix of soil. It was also gravely to encourage proper drainage and allow the soil to dry out completely between waterings.
3. Know the Needs of Your Plants
Do you know why all my plants kept dying? I wasn't getting the right plants for the available growing conditions in my home. I probably needed tropical plants that naturally live near the ground in low light under the canopy of the rain forest. They may have flourished in our basement suite. If you get your plants from a greenhouse they will be able to tell you how often to give the plant water, what kind of light to put it in, and how big of a pot it may need. Let's all learn from my mistakes and remember that impulse-buying a plant is about as careless as impulse-buying a pet (something I've also done in my life).
I'm still on the search for a cactus like the one that followed me to Alberta and left me in Grimshaw. Wish me luck keeping the next one alive long enough that it might one day tower over a mischevious toddler just like me!
Jocelyn + Morgan: Friends To The End
In many ways, working with couples on a regular basis helps me to re-align my own relationship with my husband.
Each time I photograph a couple I get to peek into their world and get inspired. First, the excitement around their wedding is contagious. It always brings me back to how I felt when I was engaged, and it reminds me how lucky I am to have had what they have now. Second, I get to learn from them. I get to see how they relate to each other, and how they raise each other up. I often go away thinking about how I can incorporate some of what I learned from their relationship into my own.
Today I sat down to make a slideshow of Jocelyn + Morgan's images, and I realized it has given me the opportunity to share some of these lessons with you.
I was reading an article recently about making friendship a priority in your relationship, and it reminded me of Jocelyn & Morgan's engagement session. The author spoke about tips and tricks for how to become closer friends with your partner, and even though many of them were cliché and the article left a lot to be desired... it was the heading that really intrigued me.
'10 Habits of Happy Couples who Make Friendship a Priority'
Jocelyn & Morgan's engagement session was like a date night with a photographer! They picked three things they have fun doing together, and we went from there. It honestly was like hanging out with two best friends for the night, out on a great date!
So I was thinking, what small things could I do today, and every day, to make sure that my friendship with my husband stays vibrant?
Here's what I've come up with:
Make Time for FUN
If you're anything like me (and Jocelyn, and Morgan!) you probably find it's WAY too easy to take on new projects. I often find myself in a place where the things I've committed to are exciting and they make me happy, but they may be demanding too much of my time.
Here are some ways I can plan ahead today, to make sure we have fun this week:
I can look at my calendar, choose a day, and tell my husband to keep the day free for a surprise. Then I can watch him squirm for the next two weeks while I plan this "surprise" in secret.
I can write a note, or cut a comic out of the newspaper to sneak into his lunch tomorrow morning.
I can find a new recipe and make dinner with him when he gets home.
I can dig out a board game or a deck of cards and make sure we have some fun tonight, instead of disappearing into our own little worlds after dinner.
Get Out of the House
Whenever people have asked us for marriage advice my husband has always said, "When things get hard, go for a walk." I think this has worked for us because getting caught up in the day-to-day can make the annoying things about our relationship stand out. When we finally get out of the house and do something fresh we remember that life together is better.
Today, we can:
Go for a walk
Go see a movie
Catch some local live theatre or an improv show
Sit on the deck, wrap ourselves in blankets, and pop a bottle of bubbly!
Be tourists in our own town and visit the Muttart, City Hall, or Fort Edmonton Park
Pack a picnic dinner and go to the neighbouhood park for dinner after work
Go watch a local sports team play
Try New Things Together
New experiences provide opportunities to surprise and impress each other the way we did when we were dating! I might forget how smart he is until he blows me away with his math skills solving a problem in an escape room. He might not know that I was a woodworking wizard in high-school unless we take a workshop together where I can show off my skills. These moments are critical in the effort to fall in love with each other again and again as our lives get more predictable.
Today, I can jot down new activities in Edmonton that we haven't done yet, as a roadmap for the next time we have a day off together...
Escape rooms
Attractions
Restaurants
Shopping centres
Classes & Workshops
Put the Phones Down
I don't even want to know how much time I spend scrolling through Instagram. Let's be clear - I LOVE Instagram - but I can still admit I would have more time to play board games, read a book, or watch Netflix with my husband if I didn't have an iPhone glued to my right hand all day long.
Some guidelines that could make our house more social:
No phones to distract us from catching up at dinner
No phones in the bedroom so we can have better conversations or read a book together before bed
No phones in the morning so we can get ready and have breakfast truly together
It's not the rules that matter, it's the act of creating boundaries so that the time and attention we have for each other is respected and treated as sacred.
Take Time to Appreciate Each Other
What if we never took for granted the amount of help and support we get from our partner? What if we stopped EXPECTING them to always be there for us, and instead showed appreciation each and every time they helped us out with something? If my friend made me dinner I would try to repay them in some way, so when my husband makes me dinner (almost every night) why don't I look for small ways to repay him with kindness?
I think I'm pretty good at gratitude, but here's a list of things that go above and beyond my usual thank you:
Pouring him a bath if he's had a hard day
Bringing home a bottle of his favourite beer, wine, or soda
Organizing or deep-cleaning an area of the house we've been putting off
Bringing him a coffee mid-day at work
Making him a DIY gift just because (Click HERE for great DIY gift ideas)
If I can translate even one of these ideas into reality today, I believe my relationship will grow a little brighter. Bottom line, when we give our attention to others it gives them the desire to pay attention to us. My husband is already my best friend, so I better make sure he can tell.
